Positive parenting

How to Introduce Positive Parenting

Yes, how to introduce positive parenting ia what we talk about now!

Positive parenting has become quite the hot topic these days, with most parenting blogs advocating for more parents to try it out. At first glance, this parenting style differs greatly from how you were brought up. That’s why most people mistakenly think it’s parenting without consequences. But that’s incorrect. Positive parenting isn’t a vague parenting philosophy that purports being nice to your kids when they don’t deserve it. No, it’s a strategic parenting method that focuses on your relationship with your child and your ability to help them develop self-discipline.

If you have never been comfortable with traditional forms of discipline, then positive parenting might be something you want to try. There are three main parts of positive parenting: committing to regulating your emotions, prioritizing your relationship with your child, and loving them unconditionally. The power of this positive parenting philosophy lies in using prevention, distractions, and substitution techniques to stop your child from doing what you don’t want them to do. If you are interested in positive parenting, here’s all you need to know about this parenting style.

What is Positive Parenting?

This parenting philosophy can be defined as the continual relationship between you and your kid that includes caring, leading, teaching, communicating, and providing all their needs consistently and unconditionally. Unlike traditional parenting styles, positive parenting is defined as nurturing, empowering, and nonviolent. It provides recognition and guidance, such as setting boundaries to enable the full development of your child. The goal of positive parenting is to teach kids discipline in a way that fosters their self-esteem, supports mutual respect between the two of you, and doesn’t break your child’s spirit. Positive parenting is warm, thoughtful, and loving, not permissive. This means that children are held accountable for their actions and not let off the hook.

Discipline has always had a bad rep and a purely punitive undertone. However, the term actually defines the process of correcting, molding, and perfecting mental abilities or moral character. This means that discipline is meant to be instructive, which means your disciplinary role as a parent is to teach and guide, not punish. As your child’s teacher, you have to respectfully show them the behavioral choices they have and positively reinforce adaptive behaviors.

How to introduce positive parenting

There’s a recurrent theme when it comes to positive parenting: it is loving yet firm. Even though it is authoritative, it balances different parenting qualities such as being assertive but not intrusive; demanding but also responsive; supportive but not punitive. Children learn a lot of the things they do through modeling. This means that if you want them to learn the right way to communicate and handle conflict, you have to show it to them. Gone are the days of “because I said so” or “Am the parent, and you have to do as I say.” If you want your kid to listen to you, you have to lead by example. 

A good look at positive parenting strategies shows that they encourage a child’s autonomy by supporting exploration and your child’s involvement in decision-making; paying attention and responding to their needs; using effective communication techniques; rewarding and encouraging positive behavior; attending to your kid’s need to express their emotions and find control; acting as a positive role model, making positive family experiences a priority and giving adequate supervision and monitoring.

Put simply, positive parenting supports your child’s healthy growth and inner spirit by being loving, supportive, consistent, involved, and firm. Being a positive parent goes beyond communicating your expectations but also practicing what you preach by being a good role model for them.

Read the article Positive parenting: Why it works miracles

What to avoid

Positive parenting shares a few similarities with authoritative parenting in that it should be done in a way that’s firm but loving. Most importantly, it is not violent, aggressive, or critical. Negative reinforcement and punishment methods such as spanking are ineffective since the overall goal of discipline is to teach and guide, not punish. This means you have to find ways to discipline your child that are firm but kind; promote their sense of belonging and significance; help your kids build and develop their capabilities, teach valuable life and social skills, and work long term. Positive parenting means using positive disciplinary techniques. However, this can be tough to do, especially if you feel like your child is working extra hard at trying to get you mad. Here are a few techniques you can use.

Techniques to use in positive parenting

Set appropriate boundaries

Every relationship needs boundaries, and this applies to the relationship between you and your children. Having boundaries is key to having a successful, positive parenting experience. It lets everyone involved know what is acceptable and what’s not acceptable. Setting and enforcing boundaries makes you feel calm and patient because your needs are being respected and met. A good indicator that you need to establish new boundaries is when you are feeling exasperated, impatient, or angered by your child’s recurring behavior. For instance, do you feel resentful that your child asks you to play first thing in the morning, even before you have properly woken up? If so, establish a rule that you have to get up, have your coffee before you are available to play with them. Expect some resistance, but you will be a better parent if your needs are being met. This will also serve as a good example to your kids for how to advocate for their own needs.

Build a connection to get your child to cooperate with you

To be considered as an authority figure in your child’s life, you need to have a connection with them that goes further than “because I said so.” This connection will make it a lot easier for your child to listen to you even when you’re at odds. If your youngster is going through a hard time and expressing themselves erratically, carve out some extra time to connect. It doesn’t have to be a long period, but it has to be consistent. Fifteen minutes of uninterrupted, dedicated time with your child can help strengthen your connection and your relationship as a whole. 

Be loving but steadfast in your principles

With positive parenting, a lot rides on the tone you use. Your child must understand that you love them unconditionally but also be firm when it comes to discipline. You want to build mutual respect, so be unyielding and hold your kids to high expectations but in a loving way. Settle on what rules are important to you and clearly communicate this to your kid. For instance, if your kid comes home past curfew, keep your word and follow through with the appropriate consequences. If you say there will be consequences for not doing something, then follow through with the disciplinary action. They will respect you for being a person who keeps to their work even through tough times.  

Use consequences

Consequences are the outcomes of actions. The consequence or what happens after your child behaves a particular way can make the behavior more or less likely to happen again. This means that consequences can be both positive and negative. When used in a positive light, they are referred to as rewards. When trying to discipline your child, you can use two kinds of consequences: natural and logical consequences. Natural consequences are the natural results of their actions. For instance, if your toddler refuses to wear a raincoat when they go out in the rain, they will get wet. So next time it rains, they will most likely wear the raincoat because they don’t want to get wet.

On the other hand, logical consequences are used when the natural consequence is not available or enough. For instance, your kid must put all their legos back after they are done playing. The natural consequence of not doing so is that they would lose some; however, this might not be enough incentive for them to put their legos away. In this case, try to think of a related consequence, such as if you find or step on a lego, you will put it away where they can’t find it.  

Use of positive reinforcement

It’s easy to focus on bad behavior and forget the good ones. Whenever your child does something commendable, don’t forget to appreciate it. This does mean you need an elaborate reward system; even a simple thank you or acknowledgment will do. This positive praise helps your child maintain a positive self-identity.

Be patient with the process

Positive parenting and positive discipline techniques won’t produce results right away. It takes time, so be patient and trust the process. This parenting philosophy isn’t about getting quick results; it is about teaching your child behaviors they will emulate. You’ll have a lot of teaching to do in the beginning since this will be fairly new to both of you, and while some changes might happen fast, others might take longer. Unlike traditional punitive disciplinary methods with positive discipline, you need to repeat the behavior you want to see. Sometimes it might take days, others weeks and sometimes even months before your child gets it. Don’t give up because the benefits will last a lifetime.

Most parents strive to be great parents; however, you may find yourself confused and frustrated by the never-ending challenges of parenting. Positive parenting strengthens the bond and trust between you and your little one. It also removes the constant tension between the two of you by teaching your child that they can respond to difficult moments without threats, yelling, being bribed, or physical punishment. By adopting positive parenting techniques, you can foster the most beneficial parenting behaviors that will positively impact your child’s development.

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